Willpower is a fickle beast. Sometimes I am completely in control, resisting or indulging right on schedule, Sometimes I cannot summon up enough willpower to care about getting out of bed. If I had a wish from a magic genie, I think I’d wish for mastery of my impulses – complete control of my willpower.
Or, on a shallow day, money.
At a year round school, we have more breaks than a traditional track. That means there are more times where my students come back to school bursting with news and excitement. Contrary to popular opinion which dictates they’d be sad to abandon their vacations to return to the rigors of school, most students greet me with exuberant hugs, grins and, today, apples & hand-painted birdhouses & photos & drawings.
It is days like this where the kids are so thrilled to be with me & so excited to share their lives with me that I remember why I chose teaching as my career.
However, I couldn’t sleep last night (my schedule is way off) and, after less than two hours sleep, I’m ready to collapse. The shininess of the day is tarnished by extreme fatigue.
Have you tried to walk the balance of togetherness with a significant other? I’ve always found it to be excessively tricky. Too little togetherness & you grow apart. Too much togetherness & you get irritated… and grow apart. My current relationship has been the easiest to keep on an even keel (largely because he is so solidly placid), but even we have had missteps (as I’m sure everyone does). He recently picked up a hobby we had enjoyed for years but that he abandoned about four months ago. I’ve continued it in his absence, but it was nowhere near as much fun, and it’s been a struggle not to pressure him to join in again (so much sweeter / better that he chose on his own). I grinned giddily through our talks of changes & new information he should have and fell asleep with a smile on my face last night. Sometimes you just hit that togetherness balance right on its nose.
When I return from a trip, I like to just melt into my bed. I like to fall back into the softness & comfort and just luxuriate. No matter how much fun you have on a trip, there is something almost poetically reassuring about cocooning yourself in your own covers. It turns the familiar into the sublime.
Side note: I slept 12 hours last night.
The best part of vacationing: seeing people & places that pull you out of your normal routine.
The worst part of vacationing: being unable to express yourself adequately via text to those who aren’t with you.
As much as I like traveling, I hate packing. Inexplicably my normally decisive self is turned into a mass of indecision. I know I’ve taken two pairs of jeans, but will I need this pair? I might not feel like wearing that one shirt, so I should really pack two different ones. Should I take two pairs of backup shoes? A lightweight coat & a heavier one?
I dress to my daily mood & I find it excrutiating to try to anticipate that. I may spend all of my time in Pennsylvania & Ottawa wearing the same outfit.
I absolutely love that feeling when you achieve success. That rush of energy, eyes wide, amazing feeling of accomplishment… Oh, man. Every time it happens, I remember.
P.S. This is a huge set back from me trying to be noncompetitive.