Trying to Do It All

I know I’m not the only person with unreasonable expectations of him/herself, but sometimes I put myself to shame. Every time I hear someone go on about how easy Photoshop is, I berate myself for not finding time to fiddle around more / take a class / read online tutorials. Every time I hear someone talk about their home improvement projects, I wince and think about how many things need to be fixed around my home that I haven’t learned how to do / taken time to finish. Etcetera, ad nauseum…

Is in my inherently competitive nature? Is it my desire to be better / do better / act better / improve myself? Is it my tendency to multitask to the point of silliness? How can I stop taking people’s comments as personal criticism, and – more importantly – let myself off the hook.

Indeed, I actually do a lot of things, and I’m proud of my many & varied accomplishments. Somewhere out there, someone is wishing they could do what I do / took the time to accomplish what I have / balance their extracurricular activities as I (try to) do. Unfortunately for me, I’m immature enough to ignore that & focus on what I haven’t done. Aren’t I normally a “glass half full” girl? Bah!

4 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by laura c. on April 21, 2009 at 1:09 am

    “I’m immature enough to ignore [my accomplishments] & focus on what I haven’t done.”

    i don’t think that’s immaturity; i think it’s a good thing. 🙂


  2. Posted by Ellen on April 21, 2009 at 7:07 am

    Not to the degree of beating myself up about it, i.e. the point of this post. That’s immature / short-sighted. I’ll never be happy if I am always berating myself for not doing more.


  3. Posted by laura c. on April 21, 2009 at 12:37 pm

    true. i guess what i was trying to say was this: my response to feelings like the ones you describe has been to try to turn beration* into inspiration (especially since meeting joe’s jet-setting, nonprofit-starting peers — people that i sometimes want to clock over the head because i’m so jealous of their accomplishments). i think my general state /is/ to focus on what i haven’t done, but maybe that’s because i generally do much less than you and have fewer accomplishments to reflect on. haha.



    • Posted by Ellen on April 21, 2009 at 1:01 pm

      I just have trouble cutting myself slack. Where I would never berate you for your leisure time or suggest to friends of mine who do no volunteer work that they should start it or tell my mom to leave her house more, I look at my own activities / accomplishments and always find myself lacking. I just think that’s silly. There’s always more to learn / experience, but it’s lame of me to think I need to have already done it. Just because I haven’t learned Photoshop (well enough) yet doesn’t mean I am lacking. It just means I haven’t done it yet. I have trouble chilling out on things that involve me, sadly. :S


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