Posts Tagged ‘change’


is difficult.



Ironically, being confined to my house for two weeks did NOT give me incentive to post more often. Indeed, it roughly halted all posting. I could say it was because I was focused on getting better, but it was actually because a) there’s not much to say about sitting in your house & b) I was too busy watching Glee. Here is a rough timeline of my last two weeks (post-hospital):

  • have husband help me out of bed so as not to strain abdominal muscles
  • decide shower is necessary but then wait too long & watch husband leave for work & resign self to another day on the couch
  • read an entire book
  • play computer game
  • wish people updated their blogs more
  • decide to post on own blog so as to cosmically encourage others to do so
  • realize “I ate an entire piece of toast & read another book” is not an appropriate post
  • decline to post
  • text husband about when he is going to come home
  • sigh copiously about the fact that he will be completing 8-hour workday, as per usual
  • read another book
  • text husband again (he is now x – 15 minutes closer to being home)
  • have long phone conversations with a patient mother
  • read another book

It’s been a fascinating two weeks. NOT! I feel like I regressed into the 80s to type that, but I am not going to delete it.

However, I do have some excellent news which is that we finally got a house. I think. Well, I am pretty sure. Until the key is in my hand, I won’t be positive, but conditions seem favorable. My best friend came to town yesterday (note: she fully supported my Glee addiction – validated!), and she saw it and liked it. Other than being obnoxiously large (which means my husband loves it), it is just right. It’s laid out just about perfectly. Next order of business? Finding a roommate so that their rent can be used to purchase furniture. We have 1000 sq ft of house right now, with furniture to match. That house is approximately three times the size.

So, to recap: I can put on my own pants now. We might be moving (maybe, probably, don’t want to jinx it). I wish I could sing like Mercedes on Glee. My husband is extremely patient & I love him.

House Update

I tried to stop talking about houses that we’d offered on since it was a fun roller coaster ride of the last 8 months (the time we’ve been actively looking & offering on houses), but I was actually asked to submit my earnest money & they deducted that (not insignificant) amount from my checking account, so I might have a different address come mid-September. All in all, not bad. That’d put us in the new house before:

  • our birthdays (a week apart) & the party we traditionally have on the weekend between them
  • I go off track at the end of October (which is excellent – time to get everything settled).
  • we host a bunch of friends for the first weekend in November (because truly, where would I put 20 people in my current house? on the front lawn?)
  • the holidays (one or more gathering might end up at our house this year – contingent on us procuring a dining room table that seats more than 6)

So, tentative success!

Girls I Have Loved

Although that is a more risque title than the post warrants, it stands. I was thinking about how lucky I’ve been to have some serious female companionship in my life. My high school / junior college best friend’s birthday is today, and every time I think of her, I smile. Here are the highlights from a life of rewarding female friendship (many guy friends, but usually only a girl or two at a time).

my little sister – Since it was mostly just the two of us as we grew up, we spent a lot of time together in my first 18 years. Indeed, she was the poor soul drafted to play all my wacky games & participate in my home dance / theatre / vocal performances. Probably the best part of being her friend (well, sister) was that she was up for anything, no matter what silly ideas I had. When I went through a phase where I named all the trees and wrote endless stories about the dryads that lived there, she played along. She was an excellent sport.

our neighbor – They say that groups of three never work & that someone is always odd-man-out. I was lucky enough to meet the girl who defied those rules. She lived across the street & a couple of houses down, and she was between my sister & I in age. We spent two years together dancing to Grease & The Sound of Music, jumping in her pool & telling ghost stories. She never chose one sister over the other & always made us both feel equally special. The best part of being her friend was how easygoing & effortless she was, and how she made me into a better sister to the aforementioned baby sis of mine.

my high school girl – This is the one who is having a birthday today. She lived a block away from me, and we spent our years in high school & the local junior college doing everything & nothing together. Because she lived so close, we would walk over to each other’s houses all the time – to watch TV, torment her younger brother, bake, play games, anything. Our phone calls routinely sounded like this… One of us – Hello? … The other one – I’m coming over … *dial tone* The best part of being her friend was how loyal and supportive she was. When I was with her, I believed I could do anything. Once or twice in that turbulent adolescent time, I found myself in situations I couldn’t handle & she was my port in the storm. I’ll never forget that.

my college girls – Although I had a little group of girls I met at college, they moved far away much too soon, but one in particular stayed in the Bay Area. I would drive back almost every weekend & spend 2… 3… 4… days in her little one-bedroom apartment (that she shared with her boyfriend – sorry!) because I just loved her company. She remains one of the most dynamic people I’ve ever met. She’s fearless & the life of any gathering. We played Barbies (in our 20s, I know, I know), watched game shows, drove aimlessly, took photos & had a wonderful time just being together. For sure, the best part of being her friend was knowing that anything could happen & it’d be fun. She never judged, never let me down & always had a smile.

my current girl – We met 7 years ago at a dead end job. One of our first conversations was about how ridiculous Precious Moments figurines are & I left our work area in tears from laughing so hard. She’s spontaneous & well-read & we share a sense of humor to a disturbing degree. She’s the only person I know who, like me, considers texts / email a valid form of serious conversation, is truly interested in grammar, chooses jobs / careers based on if they satisfy her social conscious, and make horrible, unacceptable jokes to deal with pain. The best part about being her friend is that we know it’s permanent. Even when we get irritated with each other or one of us is busy / unavailable for an extended period of time, we know the other will be a part of our lives. There’s a freedom in that knowledge that cannot be undervalued.

Most of these girls have moved on / out / away (Sacramento, don’t know, New York, Los Angeles, ask me again in a month, respectively) & I only talk with two on a regular basis (first & last on the list), but I’m so grateful they’ve been there over my lifetime, making everything just that much sweeter.

In Which I Suddenly Like Something

So, I have never been a big fan of tomatoes. I love marinara sauce, tomato-based soups (even tomato soup itself), salsa (not pico de gallo though), etc. I just don’t particularly like tomatoes. Because of this hangup, I have always shied away from bruschetta (being as pretty much every type of bruschetta involves chunks of tomato on types of bread).

However, on a whim a bit ago, I ordered the bruschetta appetizer to share with him when we tried a new restaurant (Appetez off Roseburg next to the Virginia corridor). Not expecting much, I was thrilled when a sampler arrived – 3 flavors, 2 of each – perfect for sharing! There was a traditional one that was delicious & fresh without being overly tomato-y… and I actually liked it! The cheese & garlic & onion one that I expected to like the most was actually my least favorite. I was very into the heaps of fresh toppings on the other two. However, saving the best for last, I absolutely adored the clam bruschetta. I am a big fan of seafood in general, but it seemed to really pop – juicy & flavorful.

We’ve been back since & tried another appetizer (or, as this restaurant deems them – Appetez-er), and it was good (spinach-artichoke dip) but not as memorably flavorful as the bruschetta. My stalwart dinner companion has been enraptured by both of his entrees (veal parmesan & a spicy pasta), but mine were just good (calamari steak [the non-pistachio one as they’re still not serving pistachios] & stuffed salmon). Both the desserts we tried were excellent (tiramisu & a warm apple ‘n’ pear compote), and we’ll return again.

However, inexplicably, the bruschetta was what won my heart.

Note: Although this restaurant has been in business for over a decade, the last time I had been inside was when my high school boyfriend worked as a dishwasher in its former life as Deja Vu Cafe. Because of those late night forays, I have an interestingly thorough knowledge of the layout & location of supplies. Not really relevant, but it made me smile when I walked in.


This is an uncertain time economically, of course, and that uncertainty has shaken our little school district quite a bit. A small district, we boast less than a dozen schools but a closely knit community, and I have always been happy teaching here. Repeatedly, I’ve said that the best part of working in this district was knowing that the administrators, teachers, classified staff & volunteers are all working toward what’s best for the children (and, sadly, not all districts are as hands on & child-centric as mine is).

That said, it’s breaking my heart to see the strife caused by our uncertain state budget and its ramifications on my profession in general, district & school in specific. We currently have six third-grade teachers at my site. If we stay at a 20-to-1 student-to-teacher ratio, we’ll keep those six or even have seven classes next year. If we move to 25-to-1, one teacher is bumped. If we move to 30-to-1, two teachers might be bumped. At best, they’d be moved to other grades at our school. If not at our school, they could be moved to other sites at any grade level. At worst, they’d have no job.

These are my friends & colleagues whose futures are so uncertain. It’s my first student teacher, the girl who sat across from me at Bunco a couple of weeks ago, the woman whose baby shower I just attended, the girl whose hiring committee I sat on, the lady with whom I chat on yard duty, my grade level teammates & site colleagues… and it’s killing me to watch them unable to plan their futures.

We might know what’s going on by the end of May. We might know by the time our year-round school is slated to begin (July 7). We might know mid-August (after which some tracks will have been in session for 6 weeks).

I know that everyone is feeling the pinch, and – trust me – I know how lucky I am to know I have a job next year. It’s not the layoffs per se that are causing such discontent. It’s the uncertainty.

The worst part of all of this is that every single person in our district – from the superintendent to the yard duties at lunch – just want to know… and we don’t. We can’t begin fixing our problems until we know what they are, and our problems aren’t in our hands, which is extremely frustrating. Argh.


I feel like I am standing, ready for change. The best part is: it feels exhilarating. The worst part is: I like my life how it is now.

God, I hope I’m not already pregnant. :S